Bob’s Corner
Cell Phones
From our weekly issue dated July 07, 2010
When people first began talking about cell phones, I thought that they were referring to communication devices used in jails. Then I discovered that they meant “cellular telephones,“ referring to the portable phones that have sprouted from the ears of many people, and which seem to thrive inside malls and cars.
Not to be left out, we have decided to enter the 21st century. So we acquired dueling cell phones, one for her and one for me, with different numbers. This enables me at last to locate her when we are inside a large store in which I cannot find her.
As well, there is an advantage of sorts because I can be anywhere, except maybe in the bathroom while showering, and be able to be in contact with whomever.
When we went to sign up for our new phones, the clerk wanted to know if we wanted to include SMS (or text) messages, email, Internet access, gaming, Bluetooth, infrared, camera, MMS messaging, MP3 player, radio and GPS.
I said, “What““
The clerk was patient, realizing that she was dealing with a guy still pining for manual typewriters, and who has developed a huge inventory of cuss words because of having to work with personal computers.
The clerk explained the features of our new devices, adding that they also can be programmed to make toast, do laundry, and provide views of the moon or the Dalai Lama speaking to the faithful in India. The part about making toast and hearing the Dalai Lama interested me, but I think that she was joking. Maybe.
The first hand-held phone was demonstrated by Motorola in 1973, using a handset that weighed approximately 4.4 pounds. In 1990, 12.4 million people worldwide had cellular subscriptions. At the end of 2009, the number of mobile cellular subscriptions worldwide reached approximately 4.6 billion, 300 times the 1990 number. And now I“ve added to the mess.
I found it interesting that today“s cell phones weigh considerably less than 4.4 pounds, and that has to do with technology. Actually, as cell phones continue to decrease in size, and people use those weird devices that make it look as though they“re talking to themselves, we likely will have new types of emergency calls.
“Help, come quick! I“ve swallowed my BlueTooth while eating spaghetti and meatballs.“ Or, “Send assistance, this guy has Twittered himself into insensibility!“ And perhaps, “Need an ambulance! This gal has been texting for 38 hours and has become semiconscious and dehydrated.“
As for me, I“m waiting for my cell phone toast, perhaps with a spot of ginger marmalade. That would show me some real technology.
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