Bob’s Corner
Flight funnies
From our weekly issue dated April 21, 2010
Lots of ideas for this week“s effort, but none seemed to jell, so I will ramble a bit about commercial airline flights.
First, I am always bemused by the announcement for “preboarding.“ How can one preboard“ You would have to get on before you get on. What they really mean is “early boarding“ or “privileged boarding.“ It“s OK with me; just say it properly, please.
Also, we“re told to “get on“ the plane. Like George Carlin said, and I“m paraphrasing here because this is a family newspaper: “If I get on the plane, I“ll be blown off. I“m going to get in the plane.“
Then there“s the announcement by someone from the “flight deck,“ which I find amusing. There is no deck; it could be called the cockpit, I suppose. Anyway, the voice tells us what altitude we have reached, and that we can “feel free to move about the cabin.“ Yeah, right. There is no way you can move about because of the beverage/snack cart or carts in the aisle.
Well, that“s OK too, because I“ve discovered of late that we“re supposed to stay mostly seated with our safety belts on “in case we hit some bumps.“ Bumps“! In the air“
Sometimes the landings are a tad rough. Usually when that happens, someone who thinks they“re funny will say, “I guess the first officer got in some practice there.“
And I heard about a teeth-rattling landing at one airport, where, as an elderly women left the plane, she asked, “Did we land, or were we shot down““
I“m not complaining, because air travel is so much faster than driving, walking or riding a mule. Now excuse me, I“m going to munch a crushed sack of airline crackers I found in my back pocket while I was held by my safety belt.
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