Illinois Valley News

Actually, this was the week that I was going to try and slip by with rerunning a previous Corner. But after skimming through some past offerings, I decided it would be better to simply come up with a (mostly) new one.

What came to mind were the two years I spent in the San Diego Zoo. And no, I was not an inmate. Instead, I was a route man driving a delivery van for a vending machine company. So I drove in circles (more than usual).

There was a time when I thought of writing a short story or a small book about my zoo-rama experiences. The title was going to be “Two Years in Low Gear.“ The reason is that authorized driving within the boundaries of said animal kingdom included a prohibition on driving much past 5 mph. So I was always in low gear.

And besides, what with the crowds, it was nearly impossible to roll about with any speed.

The speed limit was especially interesting because at the time I was 17 and 18 years old (two different years). Driving fast was “my thing,“ and I had the traffic citations to prove it. Anyway, I had a great time being in the zoo. I could enter early and leave late. So not only did I get to learn about the various creatures, but there were lots of interesting people.

One was an elderly gent wearing a three-piece suit who stopped my van, handed me a dime, and asked me to get him a cup of coffee. I politely declined, and he advised me that I had to do it because the panthers were mating, and he didn“t want to miss any of the action by leaving to get coffee himself.

I still declined, and I think he went without coffee.

Another time, a man was upset about the coffee he got from one of my machines. I was concerned because sometimes insects got into the machines and plopped out with the coffee. Or sometimes the machines malfunctioned.

Such was not the case this time. His coffee was fine, and I pointed that out. I showed him that he had the dials set for crème and sugar, and that“s what he got. He stared at me, and then stated, “But I asked for hot chocolate.“

I gave him a dime for hot chocolate — and backed away from him.

Some might find it interesting to know that during my two years in low gear, I also learned to imitate the sounds made by peacocks, sea lions, gecko lizards and various monkeys. Then again, maybe not.

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