Bob's Corner
From our weekly issue dated November 12, 2008
“OMAB!” could be a homemade acronym for, “Oh my aching back!”
Of course, one would have to explain why that particular thought came to mind. What if a newspaper editor moved some furniture recently and discovered that he no longer is as tough as he thought. Let’s imagine a fictitious couple, She & He, who have a fairly heavy captain’s-style bed, and see how an aching back might have arisen. It could be fun.
She: We should rearrange the bedroom and library.
He: Um, well ... OK.
She: Let’s bring that cabinet from the library into the bedroom and put it by the window for my nightstand, which means we’ll have to move the bed a few feet. My nightstand can be moved to your side of the bed, and we can put your dad’s lamp on it. Then we can change the angle of the futons in the library, which means we’ll have to move the rug too.
He: Um, well … OK.
The man then gets on the floor and strains to push the bed several feet west to make room for the incoming cabinet. He & She carry it into the bedroom.
She: I think it would work better if the bed was moved just a little bit more.
He: Um, well .. OK.
He pushes the bed again to the desired location, and puts the former She nightstand by his side of the bed. However, She & He note that now two of his drawers would be blocked, and the cabinet looks too big where it is now.
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She: Let’s put it all back the way it was.
He: Right …
Later, after more pushing and pulling, and carrying furniture this way and that, plus making some adjustments, He stands back and wholeheartedly agrees with She that it all looks quite attractive. And then, although this is fictitious, He also could comment, “OMAB!”
And just because a certain newspaper editor has been walking crookedly does not mean that he was the one relocating any furniture. That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.
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