From our weekly issue dated April 2, 2008

What you do not want to hear during surgery:

*Well, ladies and gentlemen, this will be an experience for all of us.

*Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived getting 500 ml of this stuff before?

*Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donor card?

*Ya’ know, there’s big money in kidneys, and this guy has two of ‘em.

*Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what’s that?

*Oh, no! I just lost my Rolex in there.

*Dang! There go the lights and power again.

*Nuts … when this procedure came up in med school I was recovering from a hangover.

*Hey, what’s this doing here?

*That’s cool! Now can you make his legs twitch?

*Bo-Bo, come back with that. Bad dog!

*Humm … is that supposed to be leaking?

*Sterile/schmerl, the floor’s clean, right?

*What do you mean, he wasn’t in for a sex change?

*OK, now take a photo from this angle. This is truly a freak of Nature.

*This patient has already had some kids … Am I right? Wait, it’s a man ...

*Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s sharp enough.

*Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

*Isn’t this the guy with the lousy insurance?

(Bob’s Full Disclosure: The preceding is modified from an Internet item).