It’s been a long time since I watched one of those “Die Hard” movies with the indestructible Bruce “Gettin’ Older” Willis. But the other night I felt like having chewing gum for my brain, so I rented his latest flick, “Die Hard/Bleeding/Killing/Shooting/Hitting/Lots of People Dead.”

Perhaps the film is not supposed to be a comedy, but I found it somewhat amusing. People being hurt or dying, obviously, is not a happy topic. But the “fact” that ol’ Bruce is impossible to destroy -- no matter what the bad boys (and girls) throw at him -- tickles my funny bone. He doesn’t wear blue PJs with a big yellow “S” on the front, and he doesn’t have a red cape. But he can’t be stopped. He can be injured, but like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps on running.

If he were knocked into a giant grinder, his body parts would reassemble. If he were lynched, the rope would break, and he’d use the remnants to strangle the hangman, the police (the ones who really are criminals who stole the uniforms), and anyone who doesn’t like his terse jokes.

He faces enemies who apparently have access to unlimited financial resources and a personnel department that can hire experts in any field. His enemies can purchase any equipment, from a computerized chess set to a nuclear attack submarine or a communications satellite. But Bruce the Fierce is indomitable, and you better believe it. All he needs is his trusty handgun and barbed sense of humor.

Bruce can take severe karate kicks to his face and chest; be knocked to the floor and kicked some more. Yet he suffers only minor scratches; his teeth are perfect; and he arises like a Phoenix from burning cars, trucks, bonfires and marshmallow roasts with that sardonic grin and a flip comment. What a guy!

In the movie I watched, he’s also a fantastic driver, racing around in police cars (he’s a detective with NYPD) like the world’s finest, most-daring stunt driver. He can drive backwards at 75 mph. He can pass through any obstacle; and fire and gunfire are not problems, even if the car’s engine and tires are ablaze. In fact, in the movie he actually takes out a hovering helicopter by hurling a police car, after first eliminating a machine-gun toting bad guy in the helo with water from a broken fire hydrant. What a guy!

In another sequence, he’s driving the bad people’s semitruck and trailer. But a good guy in a fantastic jet aircraft, which also can fly like a helicopter, doesn’t know Bruce is driving. So the pilot tries to take him out. However, our hero manages to avoid total destruction despite the high-tech aircraft with its guidance system, rockets and heavy machine gun fire. Nothing can hit or hurt our Bruce. All he has to do is duck, maybe shout a swear word or two, and he’s fine.

Oh, he might develop a limp, or a sore arm. He might even suffer a flesh wound from a bullet or knife. Or he could be slightly injured by a jagged hunk of metal as a 4,500-pound vehicle goes over an embankment and grazes him as he hangs by a hunk of spaghetti attached to the cliff top.

He’s continually one second or less away from certain death. But something or someone always steps in, and he’s saved. It’s incredible. The man cannot be halted, even if he is knocked through a wall, crashes through a window, skids across a metal walkway, and falls 30 feet. He’s up, he’s still in the game: He’s Bruce! What a guy!