Bob's Corner
This was the week that I was going to recall leaving San Diego County in a 240-Z in September 1979, bravely and tearfully heading north for a new job in Brookings, Ore. I also had the idea of relating my suffering at listening to a Los Angeles-based late-night/early morning radio “talk” shows. Those airwaves were inflicted last month when AM was all I could get on my car radio during a pre-dawn yawn trip to the coast to pick up the May 16 election issue.
Instead, because of any number of excuses, I have opted to pick on some expressions used by many.
How about, “I’m going to jump in the shower.” Now, that could be real dangerous, what with all the slippery stuff on the floor of the stall or bathtub, and those glass doors. Or even without glass doors, some shower curtains could cause injury, especially if, after jumping into the shower or tub and slipping, you grabbed the curtain for support and pulled down the rod.
Then there’s, “I’m just going to throw on some clothes.” That would be interesting. I’d like to photograph someone literally throwing on their clothes, just to see how they manage to get them to stay on.
And what about, “I’ll be there in a second.” Not. Who among us can move that fast? Certainly not me. It would be better to say, “I’ll be there sometime during the next 30 minutes, give or take.”
Sometimes we use phrases that can convey what we mean, but don’t exactly speak to the matter. For example, “Let’s go for a spin.” You mean, like stand in the middle of the room and twist around real fast? Or do you mean, get in the car and go somewhere? I don’t know, maybe there are some dervishes living around here.
Some of us say, “I’m going to grab a sandwich.” There’s another situation I’d like to watch, especially if said sandwich is the type that comes apart easily. How about, “wolfing down” a meal. It’s OK if you’re a wolf; otherwise you’re liable to choke, especially if it’s a meal of fried chicken. Better have paramedics standing by.
And how about those of us who “run” to our bank or a store. We don’t really run; we take a car. Although I could use the exercise.
All right, that’s enough for this time. I’ve got to go toss out some ideas.
